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Friday Thoughts 70 - I appreciate You.

Updated: Feb 6, 2022

Friday again.


An admission – I’m writing this on Thursday because I’m not in school, but hopefully it will send on Friday!


So, we find ourselves at the advent of another New Year, this time the lunar new year. It’s almost time to say goodbye to the Year of the Metal Ox and welcome the Year of the Water Tiger.


So what is the big deal about a tiger? It is the largest wild cat in the world. Tigers are carnivorous, solitary hunters. Powerful and colourful, every tiger is unique because every one sports a different fur pattern.


Apparently, if you were born in the year of the tiger, you are brave, competitive, unpredictable, and confident as well as being charming and well-liked. However, you are also likely to be impetuous, irritable, and overindulgent but never go back on what you have said. Indeed, the water tiger ‘has a strong sense of self-esteem and learning ability’. It isn’t often that I think about my own zodiac sign and whether I show personality traits or characteristics resembling my own earth sheep-ish description, but I do like to ponder now and then. Apparently we are noble, kind and gentle.


So, on to this week’s thought; I was reading a LinkedIn article (other professional networking and social media platforms are available) called ‘4 emotionally intelligent phrases should use in 2022’. These are “I trust you”, “I appreciate you”, “I’m listening” and “I’m sorry”. Apparently, 83% of Gen Z-ers would choose a workplace with a strong sense of culture over a higher salary and some would even change role, industry or career path. Admittedly, I am way off being classed as ‘Gen-Z’, however this made me think of why I changed my career way back in the mid ‘00s and then subsequently many of my role changes. I need all of these, but back then the feeling I really needed was to be appreciated. I was having a tough time at work (I was an NQT teaching RS in a Doncaster comprehensive school where my only compliment was it was “Better than French”; I won’t go into the specifics of the more prevalent negative comments, I am sure you can guess), but that was ok. I could handle that (mostly). I didn’t need anyone to listen to me or trust me or apologise to me, I needed to know that I was appreciated. I needed to know that I was a valued part of the staff team and that I was looked after. Sadly, I didn’t. It was a big school, but I had my department so had an in-built support network (or should have at least) therefore the size of the school didn’t matter. Unfortunately, despite being perfectly nice people, my colleagues weren’t able to give me what I needed and I felt totally professionally isolated, leaving after two years.


My second school was very different but I experienced another tough time; this time at the top of the county boys’ grammar school in Lincolnshire. One of the few female members of staff (and one of two under the age of 25), I was apparently fair game to the hormonal adolescents. The other ladies were apparently considered androgynous due to their age, length of time in the school, or subject matter (my other young colleague was a Maths teacher) so I was the one who stood out. Teaching RS, I also taught the majority of the school, including almost all of the Y10s and Y11s. I will be honest and say that, despite having a particularly tough time with Y10 and Y11, I LOVED teaching my Y7s and Y8s and then, in my second year my Y9s as well as my voluntary full-course GCSE students and MOST of my A Level Philosophers. The ability to build a relationship was crucial here, but I was struggling to do so. This time I needed to be listened to. I was. It was here that I had the best advice of my leadership career from the Headmaster. He gave me choices – did he want me to speak with a certain parent on my behalf and tell them they were out of line, or did I want to let it go and develop a thicker skin. If I were to ‘go where he thought I wanted to go’ in my career, I needed to take things less personally. He was right. I didn’t leave there because of the culture, I left because I wanted to leave teaching. I had lost my mojo.


I look back now and am grateful for all of the experiences I have had and eternally grateful for all of the mentors both official and unofficial I have had over my career. I am also grateful that one conversation, that sliding doors moment which I have spoken about before, led me to where I am today. So what I hope is that I am able to portray the four sentiments to you at the appropriate times because, possibly more than anything else, I appreciate you.


All of you.


Happy Friday and 新年快乐!



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