“To be yourself in a world constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment.” Ralph Waldo Emerson
I don’t think it is coincidental that I found this quote recently as June is Pride month and there are so many motivational quotes banded about at the moment, but I have not only chosen it for this reason, but because I think it embodies everything that we try to instill in our students and encourage them to be. We want them to be their best selves and, as their teachers and their leaders, we endeavour to model this to them and support them in their journeys.
Only yesterday, I read about a Secondary Head in the UK who, as part of an assembly, introduced his husband to his pupils. He shared some of his story in the article and explained that he had chosen to do so because of the strength he gained from his pupils. He said that he was encouraging them to be true and strong and so he should take a leaf out of their books! It really is a coincidence that, on my way to a Covid test earlier this week, I started listening to an episode of the High Performance Podcast and the guest was Marcelino Sambe, a Principal of the Royal Ballet. He comes from a poor background in Portugal, was supported through a local community centre, is only the second black dancer ever to make the Royal Ballet’s top tier and is gay. He talked about how he could not do what he does and express himself meaningfully while hiding who he is. He also talked about how hard he works and had to work to achieve what he has so far. He appreciates how lucky he is to have had supportive people in his life because it could have turned out very differently.
We all have our journeys and we all have our limitations (although they are often way further on that we would have ourselves believe). One of my favourite interview questions is ‘What limits what a child is capable of achieving?’ It is such because it elicits such a range of answers and, generally speaking, there is no wrong one. I do not have any agenda other than seeing how people think when listening to what they say. One of the most common answers is ‘belief’. Not intelligence, not expectation, not background. We all have the ability to become a self-fulfilling prophecy regardless of why we think this way. It may be because experience has taught us things or it is what we are told. Indeed, my mother became a nurse despite being told that girls from Secondary Modern schools didn’t go into nursing (they would instead become an auxiliary nurse, the equivalent of which is a Health Care Assistant). It is like saying she could never be a teacher (which is probable too). She didn’t listen and she and my Godmother became nurses. I am so fortunate (or should I say lucky at this point?) that I was brought up without these external limitations. I was brought up to believe that my destiny was in my own hands and that I could achieve what I wanted provided I worked for it; I had the love and support of those around me.
I am who I am today because of the experiences I have had, although I am greater than the sum of my parts. I am proud that I ‘broke the mould’ in a very small way. I didn’t settle in my home city, nor even in my home country. Yes, I entered a ‘normal’ profession, but I have now worked internationally for two years longer than I worked in the UK. I also trained to be a secondary teacher and am now a Head of Primary. I am in my early 40s, have been (happily) married for 20 years and have no children. The reasons why are not relevant here, nor anyone’s business but my own, but that is very much not ‘normal’. It is also one of the reasons I left the UK. I was a square peg in a round hole. I cannot profess to have experienced any truly awful discrimination, and this is in no way me trying to pretend I can identify meaningfully with those who truly have. I do, however, do my utmost to walk that mile in another man’s (or person’s) moccasins. I, and we, should be proud of ourselves and of each other whoever we, or they, may be.
I am proud of our school and of our community. I am proud that we have families of all shapes and sizes and that we have staff who champion others. We do not judge, we welcome and that is so precious.
This week and next we have said and will continue to say goodbye to friends, colleagues and students. One of the best things is that we took this opportunity despite not physically being together. There was so much more to say than there was time for, and so many more thank yous to say, but that’s always the case when people touch your lives in such significant ways whether those times be fleeting or long-term. Next week will be the final Friday Thoughts from BISS Puxi and I will, undoubtedly, be writing with tears streaming down my face or with my head firmly buried in the sand. I shall wait and see which it is!
For now though, I will leave you with the inimitable words of our very own Natasha Manley, ‘You be You’.
Happy Friday everyone and thank you all.
Music today is a cover of ‘In the air tonight’ from a YouTube playlist of ‘soft rock’.
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