Well, Friday came around quickly once again. I don’t know about you, but the week felt quite long to me and then suddenly it’s over.
It’s been yet another week of mixed emotions and somewhat of a rollercoaster. I began the week with every positive intention and many positive thoughts but now find myself needing to summon my energy. I have been reading a pretty standard fiction book, but a phrase from it seemed to leap out to me. It talked of a ‘grief roundabout’ and how different people seemed to take it in turns to be overwhelmed by their shared grief. I would definitely be being melodramatic if I said we were all in a state of grief because I feel it would, in some way, detract from people who are ‘genuinely’ grieving having lost a loved one. However, there are certain parallels with the situation in which we find ourselves. We find ourselves, once again, in unprecedented times and in a situation in which there seems to be no end in sight as circumstances change seemingly without notice. Once again, I feel I am being melodramatic. Of course there is an end in sight, we just don’t know where that end is.
So, this ‘grief roundabout’. We are all very fortunate in that we have people around us who love and care for us. For the majority, those people are either immediate family or they are close friends. We are all also, in one way or another, in very similar situations. From my perspective at least, it appears too that we are all taking it in turns to need the support of others and needing to reach out. Maybe this is natural? If we were all to ‘fall apart’ at the same time, who would be there to pick us up? Is this the natural way societies work, or is it that some of us find our strength when others are in need and only when those people are less in need are able to let their boundaries down and ask for help themselves?
Returning to the idea of grief. We are, in fact, grieving. We are grieving for what we have lost. We have lost so many opportunities for face to face interactions, friends and families have left or will leave and we may never see them again. All very natural in an international environment, but I don’t think any of us who went through this in 2020 thought we would be doing so again in 2022. I strive to be, and am generally improving at, being a pragmatist. It is a shame that I/we won’t get to say goodbye to some of our children, many of whom we have known a long time and it is a shame that they won’t have their ‘normal’ end of year celebrations (even if we are back on campus, it won’t be the same). However, I have done this enough times to know that those close enough to us to call ‘friends’ will remain in our lives and those who weren’t will be a fond memory. If we want to keep contact with people, we will. Even if it is the 21st century equivalent of a Christmas card each year.
We are also grieving for the lost experiences. The final meals at particular restaurants, the final cocktail in a certain bar or just the last coffee with a friend. We are grieving for the city we have called home for all this time. The Shanghai we are in is not the Shanghai almost all of us came to. Change is normal and places develop so they are never the same as when we arrived, it is just that the stark contrast and enforced time for reflection makes these things all the more stark. I am fortunate because I said my ‘goodbyes’ to China and to Shanghai in 2017, so any China experiences I have had since returning in 2019 have been a bonus. It’s the people who arrived in 2020 and since who I feel for. They have never seen the ‘real’ China and many of them will be leaving before they do.
I don’t want to finish on a maudlin note, so I would like to share some cheerful news. I received a video of one of our Y3 students reciting a T4W story earlier today. She was not only clear and coherent, but she was able to use mature and appropriate expressions. The best thing is that I remember this girl as a very quiet and shy learner when I first met her and, given her recent extremely challenging and almost tragic family circumstances, she is blossoming. A very proud teacher moment! There are some real moments of beauty in these grey and dreary times, we just have to appreciate them when we find them.
Happy Friday13th… stay safe and well those of you who are superstitious!
Music today is Fall for You by Secondhand Serenade.
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